Low on Hope


Spring's wound is healing as well as can be expected - she has a solid bed of granulation tissue and the wound finally seems to be shrinking. All the good things we want to happen are happening, slowly but surely.


But. Because of course there is a but. Her fetlock has dropped significantly. And that indicates that her suspensory apparatus, which we thought was unscathed, may have sustained irreparable damage.


I'm there, every single day. I clean and rebandage her wound every single day. I keep a positive outlook and stay hopeful every day. But tonight I can't find it in me to keep hoping. Tonight, the reality of my situation is crashing down.


Tonight I'm facing the fact that it may all be for nothing, and that once the wound heals and we can finally ultrasound the results have a high probability of being less than ideal. I'm so tired, and so sad, and so completely out of hope.


Cherish every moment, everyone. The last time that I rode Spring, I had no idea that it might have actually been the last time. 
Sometimes, horses are infinitely heartbreaking.

Comments

  1. CathrynOctober 29, 2018 at 7:32 PM

    <3

    I will keep hoping for you guys. Because when you are tired, someone else has to take over believing against belief for you <3 Thinking of you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. TeresaAOctober 30, 2018 at 2:58 AM

    I am so sorry to read this. Like Cathryn said, let us take on hoping for you. You need to rest. I know that you will make the right decisions when you need to. Now it’s the really hard part of doing it one day at a time.

    ReplyDelete
  3. TrainwreckInTealOctober 30, 2018 at 5:51 AM

    Thinking of you guys ❤️

    ReplyDelete
  4. AmandaOctober 30, 2018 at 6:34 AM

    I'm so sorry to read this. I've been rooting for you both, and will continue to do so. I know how exhausting it is to work so hard and feel like you'll never make headway. <3

    ReplyDelete
  5. L.WilliamsOctober 30, 2018 at 9:56 AM

    :( sending you hugs and good vibes

    ReplyDelete
  6. DomNovember 3, 2018 at 2:21 PM

    I can't even take this :( I'm so very sorry to see this update. Ugh...

    ReplyDelete

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